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Body, Self Love and Self Esteem 

Skin

Stretch Marks 

Body Image 

Weight 

Healthy eating 

Body Parts and height

Diet

   What Causes Self-Esteem issues? 

Many people look in the mirror and see someone they don’t like very much. They see faults, flaws and failures. They feel shame, embarrassment and maybe even anger toward themselves.

Part of the reason some people have poor self-esteem is a discrepancy between expectations and reality (though this reality is usually distorted). 

Self esteem issue can develope at any point in our lives.

Regardless of our experiences, some people seem to struggle more than others with their self-esteem. But why? Some people believe it can stem from being raised or apart of a shaming environment. 

It is not possible to identify one cause of low self-esteem for everyone.

You form your beliefs about yourself over a long period of time and this process is likely to be affected by a range of different things.

Some factors that can contribute to low self-esteem include:

  • Difficult childhood experiences – negative experiences in childhood, such as bullying, difficult family relationships or having a hard time at school, can be particularly damaging for your self-esteem.

  • Difficult life events – difficult experiences as an adult, such as the end of a relationship, long-term illness, the death of someone close to you or being unemployed, can lower your self-esteem, particularly if you experience several difficult events over a short period of time.

  • Personality and temperament – elements of your personality, such as a tendency towards negative thinking or finding it hard to relate to other people, could contribute to a poor self-image.

  • Feeling ‘different’ – feeling like the 'odd one out', or under peer pressure to conform to social norms you don't agree with, can affect the way you see yourself.

  • Relationships with other people – other people may feed into your low self-esteem, being negative about you or making you feel like you have little worth. Or you may feel you don’t live up to other people’s expectations.

  • Stress and excessive pressure – if you are under a lot of stress and finding it hard to cope, this can lead to feelings of low self-worth.

  • Negative thinking patterns – you may learn or develop thinking patterns that reinforce low self-esteem, such as constantly comparing yourself to others or developing high standards for yourself that you can’t achieve.

  • Discrimination and stigma – if you are discriminated against for whatever reason, this can affect the way you see yourself.

  • Social isolation and loneliness – if you have limited social contact with other people, or find it hard to maintain relationships with other people, this can lead to poor self-image.

  • Trauma, abuse or bullying – trauma, physical, sexual or psychological abuse and bullying can all lead to feelings of guilt and low self-worth.

  • Mental health problems (see next section).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Self Love

Eating Disorders

Subliminal Self Love/Self Esteem Affirmations | Delta waves 

Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love.

  1. Become mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel and want. They are mindful of who they are and act on this knowledge, rather than on what others want for them.

  2. Act on what you need rather than what you want. You love yourself when you can turn away from something that feels good and exciting to what you need to stay strong, centered, and moving forward in your life, instead. By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.

  3. Practice good self-care. You will love yourself more, when you take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.

  4. Set boundaries. You'll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.

  5. Protect yourself. Bring the right people into your life. I love the term frenemies that I learned from my younger clients. It describes so well the type of "friends" who take pleasure in your pain and loss rather than in your happiness and success. My suggestion to you here: Get rid of them! There isn't enough time in your life to waste on people who want to take away the shine on your face that says, "I genuinely love myself and life". You will love and respect yourself more.

  6. Forgive yourself. We humans can be so hard on ourselves. The downside of taking responsiblity for our actions is punishing ourselves too much for mistakes in learning and growing. You have to accept your humanness (the fact that you are not perfect), before you can truly love yourself. Practice being less hard on yourself when you make a mistake. Remember, there are no failures, if you have learned and grown from your mistakes; there are only lessons learned.

  7. Live intentionally. You will accept and love yourself more, whatever is happening in your life, when you live with purpose and design. Your purpose doesn't have to be crystal clear to you. If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose. You will love yourself more if you see yourself accomplishing what you set out to do. You need to establish your living intentions, to do this.

  8. Interrupt the denigrating, negative self talk.

  9. Don’t beat yourself up when you get something wrong.

  10.  Give yourself credit for the ways you’ve changed and grown.

  11.  Say something good about yourself everyday.

  12. Refuse to fixate on the things that could go wrong.

  13.  Believe that you are worthy of unconditional love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” 
― Amy Bloom

“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia 

You mean I am a source of many wonderful things?

Yes. Actually you are. 

          What is self-esteem?

We use the phrase self-esteem to talk about the beliefs you have about yourself – what you think about the type of person you are, your abilities, the positive and negative things about you and what you expect for your future.

If you have healthy self-esteem, your beliefs about yourself will generally be positive. You may experience difficult times in your life, but you will generally be able to deal with these without them having too much of a long-term negative impact on you.

If you have low self-esteem, your beliefs about yourself will often be negative. You will tend to focus on your weaknesses or mistakes that you have made, and may find it hard to recognise the positive parts of your personality. You may also blame yourself for any difficulties or failures that you have.

Starving yourself 

Starving yourself to lose weight

It’s hard to explain to someone who has nearly or fully starved themselves for a few days that what they’re doing isn’t effective. The proof is right there on the scale, right? Two pounds, five pounds, ten pounds flushed from their bodies like that, simply from not eating.

Wrong. Losing real weight from starving is physically impossible. Your body absolutely can not lose that much weight in a week. It’s not because you weren’t working hard enough, or didn’t starve for long enough. It’s because you can’t do it, just like you can’t grow gills and live underwater like a fish.

Here’s what happens when your body is starved of nutrients:

Your body realizes that it needs energy to continue to function, to blink and breathe and scratch your forehead. All of this requires power source, and it has to get it from somewhere. When you don’t give your body the energy it needs from food, it cannibalizes itself as an energy source. The prime directive of the body is that it must have energy at any cost.

The protein in your muscles is the only energy source a starving person has, and since you aren’t eating, it’s the only choice you are left with. Your body will begin to destroy muscle cells to release that protein so

it can convert it into energy. Muscles are about 70% water, so when a muscle cell is destroyed, that water is released and eventually excreted. That’s your weight loss.

Your body didn’t convert any lumpy fat into lean muscle. It didn’t begin to use fat as an energy source. It didn’t just magically get rid of three or four pounds of pure fat. It’s going to keep you alive at any cost, and that means burning up the muscle and using that to power you. Guess what? You’ve just increased your body fat percentage. Fat weighs less than muscle and takes up more space, so you might even look bigger than before.

You’ve also lowered your metabolism. Muscle is metabolically active tissue, so the more muscle you have, the higher your metabolic rate. The next bite of food you take, your body will use less efficiently and will hold on to much longer, converting it into fat and storing it for the long famine ahead.

Starving is not an effective weight loss tool. Not just because you shouldn’t starve yourself, not just because of the incredibly dangerous effects it has on your brain, not just because it can ruin your body forever. It really doesn’t work.

If you continue to starve yourself, your body will never get over that period of starvation. Your brain is programmed for survival, not for skinny, and you’ll become permanently hardwired to think that there is never enough, that you are constantly starving, even when you’re not.

 

Your body is where you live. It is inseparable from who you are, and how you feel about the body you're in really affects how you feel about yourself. Some portion of your attitude about your body comes from what you put into it and how you use it. But being healthy is only one small piece of having healthy self-love. Despite the microscopic range of women celebrated as beautiful in the media, beauty in the real world looks a million times different.

 

Weight is probably the greatest obsession of our body obsessed culture. Girls especially have a lot of anxiety about how much they weigh, how much they eat, and the general shape of their bodies. Sometimes this anxiety mixed with other emotional problems can lead to a full-fledged eating disorder. Even when it doesn't, it can be very painful and debilitating to dislike your weight and body. Eating what you want when you want is healthy. You’re body is beautiful whatever shape, size, or weight. Love the skin you're in.  

 

Everyone is unique in her body and her eating habits. Normal eating is being able to eat what you like when you are hungry and continuing eating until you are satisfied. It means choosing good, fulfilling and healthy foods but not being so restrictive that you never indulge yourself. Normal eating can be three meals a day, or several small meals throughout the day. It means leaving some cookies on the plate because you can have some tomorrow, or it means eating some more now because they taste so great. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are sad, happy or just because it feels good. In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your emotions, your schedule, your hunger and your proximity to food. Eating is apart of life, but do not let it run it.

 

About 2 million Americans, mostly women and girls suffer from eating disorders. A further unknown number have dangerous eating and dieting habits- taking diet pills, using laxatives, following extreme diet fads- which may not be as dangerous as an eating disorder but can still have detrimental effects on both body and mind. Since the 1990s eating disorders have gained exposure in the media. Some people have blamed the media for glorifying super-thin young models and for pressuring young women to achieve these “ideal” body types. Eating or not eating in an obsessed manner has little to do with TRUE hunger. It can be a way to feel in control, to get attention, to punish parents or themselves . Some women believe that weight will influence their popularity, again this is completely untrue. Whatever the reason for them, eating disorders are very dangerous and can cause extreme pain both mentally and physically. In some extreme cases people have starved or overeaten themselves to death. Suffers of eating disorders can be any weight (but their weight often fluctuates dramatically). They may even  appear “average”- it doesn't mean these people suffer less or are in any less danger.

COMPLIMENTS THAT AREN’T ABOUT PHYSICAL APPEARANCE 
1) You’re empowering.
2) I like your voice.
3) You’re strong.
4) I think your ideas/beliefs matter.
5) I’m so happy you exist.
6) More people should be listening to what you have to say.
7) You’re a very warm hearted person.
8) It’s nice seeing such kindness.
9) You’re very down to earth.
10) You have a beautiful soul.
11) You inspire me to become a better person.
12) Our conversations bring me a lot of joy.
13) It’s good to see someone care so much.
14) You’re so understanding.
15) You matter a lot to me.
16) You’re important even if you don’t think so.
17) You’re intelligent.
18) Your passion is contagious.
19) Your confidence is refreshing.
20) You restore my faith in humanity.
21) You’re great at being creative.
22) You’re so talented at ____.
23) I don’t get tired of you the way I get tired of other people.
24) You have great taste in ___.
25) I’m happy I stayed alive long enough to meet you.
26) I wish more people were like you.
27) You’re so good at loving people. 

During puberty stretch marks can appear where growth has become quite sudden and pronounced, mostly hips, thighs and breasts. Stretch marks start out as purplish lines where the skin has lost some of its elasticity. Some women get stretch marks on their bellies during pregnancy. Also, people who gain or lose a lot of weight in a short time may get them. Some people find it helpful to rub vitamin E oil on their stretch marks. Stretch marks don't generally disappear altogether, but with time they fade to shimmery white or silver lines. Do not be afraid to wear bathing suits, shorts or dresses because you have stretch marks, chances are nobody will even notice them. Love your body, it is fucking awesome.

 

 

Your skin is your largest organ, covering your entire body. Like other body parts, hormones play a role in how your skin changes during adolescence. This can present some irritating problems.

 

Common skin conditions:

Pimples can appear anywhere on your body, but unfortunately tend to congregate mostly on the face, back and chest.

‘Blackheads

 Cold sores

Whiteheads

 Subterranean mega-zit

 

The science of zits

The pores of your skin contain sebaceous glands, which make sebum, an oil for your hair and skin. Usually, the right amount of sebum is made and everything is fine. But sometimes a pore gets clogged up with too much sebum and dead skin cells. Then it ruptures and you get a whitehead, blackhead, or pimple. This likely happens when you're a teenager because of an increase in hormone production. As your body changes and matures hormones produced in the ovaries and adrenal glands, stimulate oil production. You may also notice that you tend to break out more at certain items in your menstrual cycle. In particular, breakouts often tend to occur in response to the increased level of the hormone progestin, which your body produces after ovulation and before menstruation. Anxiety and stress can also spur breakouts because they can cause the adrenal glands to make more androgens.

 

Don’t touch, squeeze, pick at, or pop your zits. Squeezing or popping pimples can force oil and bacteria deeper into the skin, which can cause more pimples and even cysts. Picking or picking at pimples can sometimes leave scars in your skin or lead to infected pores.

 

Food and skin

Some people think that what you eat can make your skin break out. Some doctors agree with this others do not. Still, as always, paying attention to what's happening in your body is a good idea. If you notice any patterns to your breakouts, take them seriously. One of the best things you can do for your skin is drinking water. Water helps flush out impurities and helps keep the skin hydrated in a healthy way.

A huge U.S industry has been built around the public's hysteria about weight loss. Whether it's on  exercise classes, diet books, pills, or weight loss programs and supplements, millions of dollars are spent every year by people who want an answer to their weight “problems.” People keep wasting their money in this way even though failure rates of dieting is somewhere between 95 and 98 percent. Studies show that within a few years, nearly everyone who loses weight dieting goes back to their former weight or higher. In fact, diets may be contributing to the country's increasing rate of obesity. There are psychological as well as physical reasons for this. For one, denying yourself food makes you think about it more and almost automatically produces cravings. At any rate, most bodies seem to have a natural weight that they more or less cling to and return to when the dieting is done. There may be little you can do to change that. Our society runs by creating items that people want to consume, dieting companies are very good at making you feel bad about your body and then producing a product that will make you feel better. This is a lie, your body does not need to change, it is perfect and those products probably will just be a waste of money, energy and time.

Height is another area that can make girls feel self conscious, especially is they are at either extreme end of the spectrum.

 

Body parts

There are specific body parts which girls also obsess about. It is important to understand body parts come in ALL shapes and sizes. All your parts are right.

To make it simple, remember these keys to an ideal body:

  • Treat your body with respect.

  • Give it enough rest.

  • Fuel it with a variety of foods.

  • Exercise moderately.

  • Resist the pressure to judge yourself and others based on weight, shape, or size.

  • Respect people based on the qualities of their character and accomplishments, rather than just because of their appearance.

  • Listen To Your Body

  • Choose a variety of foods that contribute to a healthy diet, and eat when you are truly hungry. Stop when you’re full.

  • Eat what appeals to you. Do this instead of any diet, and you’re likely to maintain a healthy weight and avoid eating disorders.

Ideal weight

How can you determine your ideal body weight? Well, your “ideal” body weight is the weight that allows you to feel strong and energetic and lets you lead a healthy, normal life. For example, when your body is healthy and at its ideal body weight, you are not too tired and you have the energy to interact with friends and family, participate in sports, and concentrate on school or work. While being overweight can be associated with adverse medical conditions, your body weight can be healthy across a wide range of weights. When searching for your ideal weight, charts, formulas, and tables may be misleading and should be used under the guidance of a qualified expert. Focusing on eating balanced meals of nutritious foods and enjoying regular physical activity will help you to achieve balance and arrive at your ideal weight. Consult a qualified expert in medicine and nutrition for more information.

Most of all, avoid comparing your body with your friends’ bodies or the people you see in advertisements or on your favorite TV shows. If you compare yourself to others, try to remember that we are all naturally different, which means we all have special qualities. Make a list of some of your strengths.  What do you like to do? What makes you unique?

20 Ways to Love Your Body

  1. Think of your body as the vehicle to your dreams.  Honor it.  Respect it.  Fuel it.

  2. Create a list of all the things your body lets you do.  Read it and add to it often.

  3. Become aware of what your body can do each day.  Remember it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.

  4. Create a list of people you admire:  people who have contributed to your life, your community, or the world.  Consider whether their appearance was important to their success and accomplishments.

  5. Walk with your head held high, supported by pride and confidence in yourself as a person.

  6. Don’t let your weight or shape keep you from activities that you enjoy.

  7. Wear comfortable clothes that you like, that express your personal style, and that feel good to your body.

  8. Count your blessings, not your blemishes.

  9. Think about all the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently spend worrying about your body and appearance.  Try one!

  10. Be your body’s friend and supporter, not its enemy.

  11. Consider this:  your skin replaces itself once a month, your stomach lining every five days, your liver every six weeks, and your skeleton every three months.  Your body is extraordinary—begin to respect and appreciate it.

  12. Every morning when you wake up, thank your body for resting and rejuvenating itself so you can enjoy the day.

  13. Every evening when you go to bed, tell your body how much you appreciate what it has allowed you to do throughout the day.

  14. Find a method of exercise that you enjoy and do it regularly. Don’t exercise to lose weight or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good.  Exercise for the Three F’s: Fun, Fitness, and Friendship.

  15. Think back to a time in your life when you felt good about your body.  Loving your body means you get to feel like that again, even in this body, at this age.

  16. Keep a list of 10 positive things about yourself—without mentioning your appearance.  Add to it daily!

  17. Put a sign on each of your mirrors saying, “I’m beautiful inside and out.”

  18. Search for the beauty in the world and in yourself.

  19. Consider that, “Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way.”

  20. Eat when you are hungry.  Rest when you are tired.  Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty.

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