Sexuality

Sexuality, as we know so far, is a mix of many different things in varying proportions: things that are physical, chemical, emotional, interpersonal, identity-based, intellectual, social and cultural, and that mix is different for, and unique to, everyone. Sexuality also isn't something that is technically “adult,” or something that pops out of the blue when anyone reaches puberty or a certain age: no one isn't sexual one day, then the next day, suddenly is because they've reached a certain age, had sex with a partner or sprouted hair in places they didn't have it last month. Even though the sexualities of people tend to vary when it comes to age and development -- infant sexuality, for instance, is a very different thing than adolescent or young adult sexuality, which can be a very different thing from the sexualities of people in their 60s or 70s -- it’s been with all of us in some way from the day we were born, and maybe even before, believe it or not.

People who haven't had an orgasm
People with disabilities, including sexual disabilities or developmental disabilities
Old people
Young people
People who don't like the kinds of sex others do
People who have never had a sexual partner
People who don't ever want to have a sexual partner
Your parents and grandparents
People with genital injuries
Sexual violence or abusesurvivors
People with mental illness
People of all sizes, shapes and colors
Clergy people
People who are questioning
People who don't meet cultural standards of beauty
Conservative people
Shy people
People you don't find sexually attractive
and so many more.

Basic anatomy

Vulva: When people refer to the "vagina," what they usually mean is the vulva, which includes all the external parts, including the inner and outer lips.

Labia Majora/Outer Lips: These are the first things you see, and hair grows on them naturally. the labia majora's job is to protect the more sensitive parts inside.

Labia Minora/Inner Lips: The labia minora provide the second layer of protection for the underlying structures and openings, and they also have oil glands that secrete lubrication to keep you comfortable. they're the part of the anatomy most likely to cause women stress, due to how they look. Just know that the lips might not be symmetric, they might extend beyond the labia majora, and the edges might not be totally smooth. "The healthy thing is to understand that our labia are as unique as our fingerprints. Everybody is different," "There is no right or wrong about it."

Clitoris and Clitoral Hood: the tiny clitoris, which is the little nub you see at the top of your external area when you spread the labia, contains 8,000 nerve endings. That means it's really sensitive, and for many women, stimulating it is the best way to orgasm. The hood, a flap of skin that slides back and forth, functions to protect the clitoris and prevent irritation and arousal when you don't want it. When you are aroused, however, the hood slips back to expose the clitoris. The outer clitoris that you can see and feel is actually connected to an inner clitoris (!!),

Urethra: This small opening, which is where urine comes out, is right below the clitoris. It's hard to see and you can't really feel anything there. many young women think the clitoris is actually the urethra, but don't be fooled.

Vestibule: Right below the urethra lies the introitus, also called the vestibule or the opening to the vagina. Think of it as a foyer. "When we go into an office building, we go into that little area where there are two sets of doors," Basically, the vestibule is the lobby leading to the vagina, which is inside your body. We should also say here that there are many color variations in the whole external vulva area, depending on your skin tone and whether or not you're sexually excited.

Internal Clitoris: This concept is mind-blowing and a relatively recent anatomical discovery. You have a wishbone-shaped structure extending from your clitoris on the outside of your body—the top of the wishbone—to the area under your labia majora deep inside. "It's tissue that engorges during sexual arousal and that is excitable," So there's literally much more to female sexual excitement than meets the eye.

Vagina: So do you see now why calling the whole thing a "vagina" is not exactly accurate? The vagina, also called the birth canal, leads to your uterus. "People think the vagina is a tube that's always open, but it's not. It's a muscle that, when at rest, is closed," Davis says. "The walls touch unless there's a tampon or a finger or whatever inside. So it's not like you're walking around with an open hole in your body." Also, you can't lose anything inserted into your vagina; it's an enclosed pouch that doesn't lead to the rest of your body. It's normal for the vagina to feel craggy and bumpy to the touch.

Cervix: The cervix is the neck-like part of your uterus that extends into the vagina. It's the place where your gyne takes a sample from for a Pap smear. It's also the part that dilates before a woman gives birth. Otherwise, it stays closed, opening only enough to release blood and other fluids from the uterus when you have your period. If you reach in to touch it, it feels sort of like a clenched fist with a dimple at the bottom.

Uterus: Your uterus is the place where a future baby (should you choose to have one) will live for nine months. It sheds its lining every 28 days or so when there's no pregnancy, otherwise known as getting your period. You can't feel the uterus from outside your body...it's buried pretty deeply in your lower abdomen.

Fallopian Tubes and Ovaries: Every month your ovaries shoot out an egg and send it floating happily down the fallopian tubes to the uterus where it will hang around in hopes of meeting up with some sperm to make a baby. (3)

☾ Menstruration ☽

Pregnancy

Becoming pregnant can be scary at any stage in your life but becoming pregnant as a young woman can be one of the hardest and scariest expieriences. You may be feeling a huge range of emotions from guilt to fear to excitement. However you are feeling is completely valid and understandable. This can be a very overwhelming time for you and you probably have a lot of questions.

If you think you may be pregnant it is important to not stress yourself. Stay as calm as possible and check to see if you have any symptoms. Whether or not you are pregnant everything will be okay. Remember the only way to be 100% sure you are pregnant is by taking a test. If you cannot afford a test there are many places that give out free tests, you can also always ask a school counselor or school nurse and they will either be able to get you a test or help you find one for free.

Common symptoms of pregnancy:

Most people think a missed period is the only warning sign that you might be pregnant. Not so. There are a number of things that occur very soon after a baby has been conceived.
Here are some things to think about. When was your last period and when is your next one due? The greatest likelihood of becoming pregnant occurs just about mid-way between periods. You can ask yourself if that is around the time you had sex? "Spotting" and cramping can happen about 8 days after conception spotting is like a very light period but it will only last a few days and it is not a continous flow. Some women may also have cramping. This doesn't happen to everybody, but it can be a sign that something is happening in your body. These symptoms happen because the embrio is actually implanting itself in the uterine wall. This is called implantation bleeding. If you are pregnant, because of the changes taking place inside your body, as early as one week after conception, you may feel extremely tired at any time during the day. Sometimes as early as one to two weeks after conception, some women notice that their breasts are tender to touch or slightly swollen. Areolas are the skin around your nipples, and pregnancy causes this skin to darken and this can be a subtle but important change to notice. Missing or having a late or light period is one of the most common indicators that conception may have taken place. Some women still have "mini" periods even while pregnant, but this would be very light and for a very short time . Nausea may occur between 2 and 8 weeks after conception. This can occur any time of day, not just mornings. Some women never experience this, and others do. Every woman and body is different.

I am pregnant... What now?

If you are pregnant, you have three options to consider. You could choose parenting, adoption, or abortion. You may find it helpful to talk with someone about all these options. Pregnancy centers offer confidential support and accurate information about all pregnancy options. If you’re pregnant, and it’s unexpected, you may be feeling overwhelmed. That is normal. You have some of the biggest decisions of your life ahead of you, and you might be making those choices on your own. This expiereince in many way is completly your own do not let somebody try and push you into doing somthing you don't want. Some women know immedietly that they want to keep their baby. Some women are very clear in knowing they want an abortion. This choice is yours alone to make and it does not need to be rushed and it can always change. You can, and should, take enough time to educate yourself about all your options. The only true choice is a fully informed choice. While you are thinking through your options, it can be helpful to visualize each option. Think about how today’s decision will make you feel now, and try to think about how you’ll feel about it five years from now. When choosing which option you feel is right for you here are some important questions to ask yourself:

Which decision will provide the best environment for my child?
Am I ready to become a parent?
What are my plans for the future?
Which decision will provide the best stability for my child?
Financially which choice is the most realistic?
Which decision can I live with spiritually?
What do I really want?
How would each option affect my everyday life?
What would each option mean to the people closest to me?

What is menstruation?

Menstruation is a womans monthy bleeding.

Menstruation is the process of uteran shedding. Meaning the lining of a womans uterus or womb sheds its outer layer which creates menstrual blood. This blood flows through a womans cervix and then out through her vaginal opening. An average menstrual period lasts anywhere from 3 days to a week.

When a womans period comes on a regular basis it is called her menstural cycle.

Having regular menstrual cycles is a sign that your body is healthy and that all your reproductive organs are working the way they should be. The menstrual cycle provides important body chemicals, called hormones, to keep you healthy. A menstural cycle is counted from the first day of 1 period to the first day of the next period. The average menstrual cycle is about 28 days long.

Why do women menstruate?

About half way or so through a womans 28 day cycle a process called ovulation happens. Ovulation occurs when a mature ovarian follicle discharges an egg or an ovum. Once released the ovam travels down the fallopian tube where it may be met by a sperm and become fertilized. If an egg is not fertilized, it will dissolve into the uteran wall where it will be shed during mensturation. Menstruation can be debilitating, relieving, disappointing, or simply an inconvenient fact of life. As women we must learn to love and feel empowered by our monthy blood, because it is a really beautiful thing.

Some people think only certain kinds of people have or can have sexuality, but that's just not true. Everyone can have sexuality, and that includes:

What is sexuality?

Adoption

Abortion

The term "sexuality" can be used a lot like the word "sex." They're both terms we say and hear a lot, but which often aren't clearly defined, or even defined at all. but, what is sexuality all about? You might say it's about our bodies or our hormones, our feelings and our relationships, or about touching and being touched. You might think it's about doing or engaging in one kind of sex or any kind of sex, or about wanting, seeking out or experiencing certain kinds of pleasure. You might say it's about parts of our identity, like our gender identity or sexual orientation. You might say it's about reproduction: about making babies (or not). You might say it's about our desires to be close to -- or far away from -- other people in ways we define or experience as sexual, or about feeling horny, lusty, tingly, mingly, hungry, itchy, twitchy or whatever words you use to express a strong feeling of "I wanna have sex!" Sexuality is a huge topic and on this page we will try and explore and give some more information about this topic.

What does a "normal" vagina look like?

Contraception

Birth control has been used by humans for thousends of years. As women today we are lucky enough to have access to safe and effective birth control methods. When using birth control it is important to find which method works best for your body! It is a good idea to take time and gather information about all your birth control options before you choose. Only you can decide what is best for you. Below are some of the many options you have when choosing and making a birth control plan. It is important to understand and remember that the only 100% effective way to prevent STIs and or pregnancy is abstinence.

Birth Control Pills

Aka “The pill” or oral contraception. Birth control pills are made of hormones. Our bodies also have hormones. Some birth control pills have two kinds of hormones: estrogen and progestin. These pills are called combination pills. There are also pills that only contain progestin. These are called progestin pills.

So how do these pills work? They work by keeping eggs or ovams from leaving the ovaries, and without an egg there can be no baby. These pills also make cervical mucas thicker which helps prevent sperm from reaching the egg.

Cost about $0–$50 each month
Take a pill each day to prevent pregnancy
Easy to get with a prescription
Less than 1 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they always take the pill each day as directed.
About 9 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they don’t always take the pill each day as directed.

What if I forget to take my pill?

Almost all women will forget to take their pill atleast once in their lives. The most effictive way to take the pill is at the same time ,everyday. However that being said what should you do if you do forget to take your pill?

If your on combination birth control Take the late pill as soon as possible. Take the rest of your pills at the usual time. This means you may take 2 pills in 1 day. If you have missed only one days worth of pills you do not need to use a backup method of birth control. However if you have missed 2 or more days of birth control you must use a back up method of birth control for 7 days.

Progestin only pills.

If you are taking progestin only pills you can become pregnant 3 hours after you've missed the pill.

Take a pill as soon as you remember.
Take the next pill at the usual time.
Continue to take the rest of the pack on schedule.
Use a backup method for 48 hours after taking the late pill. Some backup methods are the condom, female condom, diaphragm, sponge, or emergency contraception. Emergency contraception is a great backup method if you had vaginal intercourse before you realized you missed pills
To get birth control pills you must have a prescription. You can visit a clinic like womens health or planned parenthood or go to a private health care provider.

Birth Control Implant (Implanon and Nexplanon)

Parenthood

The birth control implant is a thin, flexible plastic implant about the size of a cardboard matchstick. It is inserted under the skin of the upper arm. It protects against pregnancy for up to three years. The implant is available under the brand names Implanon and Nexplanon.

How does it work?

The birth control implant releases a hormone called progestin.

Is it safe and effective?

Yes! The implant is very effective and safe. Less than 1 out of 100 women a year will become pregnant using the implant, and it lasts up to three years. You should talk to your doctor and make sure the implant is safe and right for you. Do not get the implant if you are pregnant or have breast cancer.

Certain medicines and supplements may make the birth control implant less effective. These include

certain TB medicines
certain medicines that are taken by mouth for yeast infections
certain HIV medicines
certain anti-seizure medicines
certain mental disorder medicines
herbals like St. John's wort

The cost of the exam, the implant, and insertion ranges from $0–$800. Removal costs between $0 and $300.

Birth Control Shot

The birth control shot is an injection of a hormone that prevents pregnancy. Each shot prevents pregnancy for three months.

The shot is also known by the brand name Depo-Provera, or by the name of the medicine in the shot, DMPA.

How does it work? How effective is it?

The shot works much like other birth control methods. It releases progestin, protecting the body from pregnancy. Your health care provider will give you an injection. You may have a temporary bruise. The birth control shot is one of the most effective methods of birth control available. It works best when you get the birth control shot regularly, every 12 weeks. Less than 1 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they always use the birth control shot as directed. About 6 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they don't always use the birth control shot as directed.

How much does it cost?

If you need an exam, it may cost about $0 to $250. Each visit after the initial exam may cost between $0 and $150.If you are more than two weeks late for your injection, you may need a pregnancy test before getting your shot. Pregnancy tests cost about $0 to $20.

What are they? How do they work?

Condoms are small latex, plastic polyurethane, nitrile, polyisoprene or lambskin, pouches that cover the penis and collect semen. Condoms protect againts unwanted pregnancy and STIs. Condoms work by preventing contact between partners bodily fluids, they also limit skin-to-skin contact that can spread sexually transmitted infections.

Lambskin condoms do not prevent againts STIs only latex and plastic condoms do.

How do condoms protect againts STIs?

Even if you're using another form of birth control (like thepill), it's a good idea to also use condoms to help prevent sexually transmitted infections.Condoms not only help prevent bodily fluids from coming into contact with each other but they also cover the head and shaft of the penis which helps to protect against certain STDs like herpes and genital warts that are spread through skin-to-skin touching. They are not 100% preventative againts these skin-to-skin types of STDs, because condoms don't cover all of the skin near your genitals.

Where can you get condoms? How much do they cost?

How effective are condoms?

Condoms are effective because they block contact with body fluids that cause pregnancy and sexually transmitted infection. Most reports of condom failure are the result of inconsistent or incorrect use, not breakage. When used consistently and correctly condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. Condoms are the only contraceptive method that also provides STI protection. Condoms provide different levels of risk reduction for different STIs because infections are spread differently— some are spread by contact with bodily fluids while others are spread by skin to skin contact. In general, research shows that condoms are most effective in preventing those STIs that are spread by bodily fluids, such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV. Condoms also can reduce the risk of contracting diseases spread by skin-to-skin contact, such as herpes and HPV. However, condoms only can protect against these diseases if the sores are in areas covered by the condom.

Do condoms break and slip off frequently?

No. When used consistently and correctly, condoms are 98% effective in preventing pregnancy and are the only form of birth control that also can prevent STIs. 3,7,8 This is why it’s important to follow directions for correct use.

Types of condoms

Textured condoms can bring extra spice to the experience with bumps and/or ribs.
Flavored condoms are a great tasty way to have safer oral sex.
Sensitive condoms are thinner than average and offer more sensitivity.
Extra strength condoms are thicker than average and provide more peace of mind.
Magnum sizes are larger than average.
Snugger fit sizes are smaller than average.
Contoured condoms refers to the shape of the condom being more anatomical in nature, rather than a straight tube.
Climax control condoms slow him down and delay ejaculation.
Warming condoms heat up the genitals over time.

Your life. Your body. Your choice.

Condoms

Vagina Vocab

Throughout our lives as women one of the most daunting and pressing questions we ask ourselves: "Is my vagina normal?" You can stop your worrying because the answer is super simple, yes your vagina is perfectly normal, in fact your vagina is perfect. To be honest the idea of there being one kind of "normal vagina" is a total myth. Vaginas come in a whole range of shapes, sizes, colors and textures, there are endless amounts of physical variations. Whatever your vagina looks like it is healhty and it is perfectly normal! Sadly many of us have been taught that a "normal" vagina has short, thin inner labia that don't protrude, with a small, visible clitoris, light-toned skin, and a lack of vaginal discharge, while these things are perfectly normal many of our vaginas do not look anything like this. Many women worry that their partners may not find their lady parts attractive or even worse, that they're having a health problem because their vajayjay doesn't look like all the vaginas that keep popping up on the internet and in porn. Odds are your vagina is perfectly healthy and A-ok and you just gotta learn to love every piece of your beautifully unique body.

Labia: Many people grow up believing that the lips of the labia majora or the labia minora are "supposed" to be a certain length, but that isn't true — in about half of all women, the lips of the labia minora are long and stick out from the labia majora. Sometimes both sets of lips are long, sometimes they're thick, and sometimes they're thin. Sometimes the skin of the labia is the same tone as the rest of your skin, sometimes it's darker, and sometimes it's lighter. Some labia are longer on one side than the other. Many womens labias have lots of little wrinkles and folds, more wrinkles actually a sign of elasticity! Some women believe that the size of their labia reflects their sexual activity however this is not true whatsoever, the size of your labia minora has nothing to do with the number of sexual partners you've had or how often you've had sex. Your labia are full of nerve endings so really, the bigger they are, the more potential fun you can have playing around with them. Love those lips girl.

Some signs your labia are not healthy can include labia discolored with white patches. This can be a sign of a disease called lichen sclerosus, which is most common of women of menopausal age. Itching, burning, and/or bleeding of the skin on the vulva could also be signs of a health problem — anything from a skin condition to an STD. (4)

Clitoris: Many people believe that the clitoris is a tiny pink nub that looks kind of like a pencil eraser. In reality, the clitoris is almost completely internal, about three-quarters of the organ is under your skin. Many women have different sized clitorises and the clit has been known to grow especially when its erectile tissue has been stimulated. The clitoris can have folds of skin that sag over the general clitoral area. Some women have a recessed clitoris, meaning their clitorisehas no portion visible under the hood. This doesn't mean that they don't have a clitoris, or that having it touched won't be pleasurable its just means its different and unique. All sizes of clitorisis are perfectly healthy. Some signs your clitoris may be unhealthy are clitoral pain or soreness, which can be related to over-stimulation during sex or masturbation, or due to a build-up of smegma under your clitoral hood. Also watch out for itching, which can be a sign of a yeast infection. (4)

The vagina:

Many people believe the whole vulva is the vagina however your actual vagina is the small opening located below your urethral opening and clitoris. If you insert your fingers inside your vaginal opening you can feel all manner of bumps, ridges and valleys. Its pretty cool! These ridges help the vagina expand for sex and lots of other awesome stuff. It is really important to become familiarized with the texture of your vagina, so that you can be aware if something unusual is going on in there. Some STIs, like genital warts cause small bumps and growths on and inside the vaginal opening so if your familiar with your va-jay-jay it can help alert you if there is something going on down there!

"loose" or "stretched" out vaginas

The idea that the more sex a woman has the "looser" she becomes is a lie! There isn't really such a thing as a vagina that has expanded past the point of no return.The only time a woman may experience a temporary loss in vaginal muscle tone is after childbirth, you can't "stretch" your vagina through sex, no matter how many partners you have. Your vagina is a cool and tough organ filled with muscles, not a delicate cashmere sweater. Do not be afraid, you're little flower is perfect.

(4)

Sexually Transmitted Infections

Sexually Transmitted Infections or STIs are passed on through sexual contact or the exchange of body fluids from person to person. Many people who have an STI don’t have any obvious symptoms or signs, so it is important to educate and understand STIs. STI don’t only happen to people with many sexual partners. Even if you are in a long-term relationship now, you or your partner may have been infected in a previous relationship without knowing it. With many STI, symptoms don’t show for months or even years. The only way to know for sure is to get a test. ANYONE can get an STI, but they are most common in people between 15 and 29 years of age. The most common STIs seen in young people are:

Chlamydia

Gonorrhoea

Trichomoniasis

and Syphilis

Above are the STIs that are are relatively easy to cure with antibiotics if detected and treated early. These are called bacterial STIs.

Genital herpes,

genital warts,

Hepatitis B

and HIV

Above are the viral infections that cannot be cured, but their symptoms can be treated and managed.

Testing, Treatment and Prevention

Taking control of your sexual health and being active in protecting yourself from STIs is critical. Many STIs can result in serious health problems and some can change a persons life forever. Knowing the facts empowers you to make up your own mind about your body. Be aware of the infections and what to do if you have unsafe sex or see any possible symptoms. It is a good idea to get tested regurally for STIs once you've become sexually active. The cost for an STI screening depends on the tests required and where you go. Many clinics offer low-cost or even free testing for young people. Just ask when you make your appointment. Doctors MUST keep information that a patient gives them confidential, regardless of their age. However, if there are issues that raise concerns about patients under the age of 16 then the doctor may take steps to ensure their safety.

How does testing work?

You will have either a urine test, a swab, a blood test or a physical examination. The type of test depends on which STI you would like to be tested for.

The best prevention method is a CONDOM!

Condoms are not only used to prevent unwanted pregnancy they are also the best way to avoid an STI. Empowering yourself to talk to your partner or partners about using condoms is crucil to your sexual health. It is also important to learn the correct way to wear or put on a condom.

When talking to your partner(s) it is important for them to understand that you want to use condoms and why you feel it’s important to your body and sexual health. If it’s unplanned sex simply say “condom!” before things get too heavy. Try and always carry a condom with you just in case something cums up... Ha ha. If your partner declines the idea of a condom try and talk about it together but be clear and firm about the reasons why you want to be safe and use a condom. It’s your sex life; you get to choose when, where and how you want to have sex. If they refuse to put your saftey first you can refuse to have sex with them. The only time it is really "safe" to not use a condom is if you and your partner have been tested reciently and your test results come back totally negative. If you are having sex with a new partner it is a good idea to use a condom everytime until you both can be tested and you can use a different form of birth control!

Do STI have symptoms?

Many people with an STI have no symptoms whatsoever, and they can only be diagnosed through testing. If signs and symptoms are present they may include things like:

Unusual fluid from the penis, vagina or anus
Itchiness around the genital area
A burning sensation when urinating
A rash, sores or small lumps on or around the penis, vagina or anus
Unusual bleeding from the vagina after sex or between periods
Pain and swelling in the testicles
Pain during sex
Sore throat, swollen glands, fever and body aches
Unexplained tiredness, night sweats and weight loss

Activities you CANNOT get an STI from:
USING SEX TOYS Use of something like a vibrator, dildo, butt plug, masturbation sleeve or other toy
An important note: If toys are shared, but not covered with shared use or sanitized in between, or you don't clean toys every time before and after use, there are possible risks of BV, UTIs and chlamydia. If toys are used for activities where there is some genital contact, like a strap-on used for intercourse, some STI risks, namely HPV or Herpes, can exist due to there still being direct genital contact.
PETTING OR MASSAGE Stroking bodies or body parts without any naked genital contact, direct genital touching or fluid sharing; "feeling up"
MUTUAL MASTURBATION Masturbating together, but only touching one's own genitals, not a partner's genitals
TALKING: Talking about sex, including cybersex, phone sex, or sexy texting; "talking dirty
SENSATION PLAY: Exploring different sensations of the body, like with hot or cold items, objects like feathers or fabric, or using things like clamps, hands or other items for activities like spanking or suction; does not account for any direct genital contact or fluid sharing
KISSING Putting lips together with another person

The proper and improper way a condom should look before you roll it on a partner.

Sex while menstruating

Sexual Violence

Masturbation

Self Care

Toxic Shock Syndrome

Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) is a rare and potentially life-threatening illness that is thought to be caused by infection with certain types of bacteria, including Staphylococcus aureus and Streptococcus pyogenes.
Women who have their period (are menstruating) are most likely to get TSS, as it is thought to be associated with tampon use. The underlying mechanisms are not fully understood, but one theory is that the bacteria naturally present in the vagina can over-grow in the presence of a blood-soaked tampon.

Reducing the risk of toxic shock syndrome

Given the number of women worldwide who regularly use tampons, TSS is a very rare condition. Suggestions to reduce the risk include:

Change tampons regularly (at least every four hours).
Avoid using super-absorbent tampons.
Only unwrap the tampon if you are going to use it immediately.
Do not handle the tampon more than you need to.
Wash your hands thoroughly before and after inserting the tampon.
Be gentle when inserting and removing tampons.
Avoid applicator tampons, as the applicator may scrape the vaginal walls.
Use pads (sanitary napkins) instead of tampons overnight.
Maintain personal hygiene during your period.
Do not wear tampons when you do not have your period.
Consider using pads or panty liners during the last day or so of your period when your flow is light.
Use a lubricating jelly when inserting tampons in the last day or so of your period when your flow is light.

Many people believe that it is either unsafe or unsanitary to have sex while menstruating, this is a complete myth! For some women, sexual activity during menstruation can be even more pleasurable than at other times of the month. Because of the obvious added moisture the need for lubrication lessens during your period, and some studies show that sex can soothe period-related symptoms, such as cramps. It is important to remember that even during your period there still are risks of STIs, other infections, and pregnancy. During your period it’s crucial to practice safe sex because you could still get or transmit an STI, like HIV. The virus may be present in menstrual blood. Having sex when you’re menstruating will most likely not result in getting pregnant, because you’re usually several days away from ovulating during menstruation. But there are exceptions. If you have a shorter menstrual cycle (21 to 24 days) and you have sex toward the end of your period, sperm can remain viable in your vagina for up to five days, so pregnancy is possible. The bottom line is to make sure that both you and your partner are comfortable with the situation. “Don’t assume anything,” but if both partners are comfterable lay down a towel and do your thang!

Yeast and UTIs

#1 – Give yourself time to rest — especially on the first day.

Our body is going through a lot in that first day of our period, so it’s important to recognize and honor what our body is going through by allowing it to rest. If you start over the weekend, give yourself the time and space to rest during that first day.

If you do need to work or have activities to do on the first day, make the effort to let yourself rest in any moment that you have time. Rest even more during your lunch and other breaks, take extra moments during your day to meditate, and try to avoid doing any extra errands. Anything that doesn’t need to be done on that exact day, put it off to the next day when you’re body will have more energy to do it.

#2 – Do low-intensity exercise.

Go for walks and do low-intensity cardio, as this will help with the flow but not strain the body. Do stretching and more passive-kinds of exercise such as yin yoga or a yoga class that is more gentle in nature. This is most important to do during the first few days of your period, as your body is doing a lot more work in the beginning.

# 3 – Eat well.

Because we lose quite a bit of blood during our period, it’s important to eat foods rich in iron the week before we start our periods to prepare. So be sure to eat red meats, dark leafy greens (like spinach), and seaweed, as this will prepare your body for what you will be losing during menses.

Also, be sure to eat many fruits and vegetables during this time. During PMS and menses we may have the tendency to start reaching for chocolate, sweet, and sugary things. This is just a sign that our body is in need of nutrients it is deficient of. Many times, it is commonly iron (as I mentioned earlier) and magnesium. So be sure to eat many green vegetables, as these will be rich in magnesium, and it will better satisfy your cravings.

Finally, remember to take your multi vitamins since this will also reduce your likelihood of becoming nutrient deficient.

#4 – Take a soothing hot bath.

Take a hot or warm bath once or a few times during the week of your menses filled with bath salts and essential oils. Then go ahead and light some candles, play some soothing music, and just soak. It will not only help you relax, but it will also help sooth any cramps, aches and pains that you may be having.

#5 – Journal and reflect.

While we are menstruating, the communication between the left and right hemispheres of our brain are more powerful than any other time of the month. As a result, we may find ourselves receiving more messages from our intuition and instincts while we are menstruating.

So take more time to journal, meditate, and reflect. You may find yourself more likely to reach some “a ha” moments, receive new creative ideas, or find an answer to a question you have been contemplating on for weeks or months.

Even if you’re not feeling more intuitive during your week of menses, don’t just ditch the journaling! Continue to journal and reflect upon your current thoughts, feelings, and how you have been feeling in your body. In doing so, you may be able to come to some deeper insights about yourself.

For many of us, masturbation is a taboo topic. There are many harmful myths about masturbation that may cause us to feel uncomfortable about it. These myths can cause guilt, shame, and fear. Masturbation can be good for mental and physical health. People who feel good about their bodies, sex, and masturbation are more likely to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases and unintended pregnancy.Masturbation is also one of the best ways we can learn about our sexuality. It can help us explore the types of touch we like the most and help us learn how to get excited and how to reach orgasm.Learning about what feels good to you can increase your chance of feeling sexual pleasure with sex partners. When you know what you like when it comes to sex, your comfort with sex increases.

(2)

Pads or Tampons or Menstrual Cups

Sanitary pads: Sanitary pads, also known as sanitary napkins or menstrual pads, were one of the earliest forms of feminine hygiene and are still widely used today. Offered in various lengths and absorbancy levels, pads are often preferred by women on light-flow days or for when they might be spotting between periods. Some women combine a tampon with a pad for extra protection. The disadvantages associated with sanitary pads are that some women find the product uncomfortable or find that it isn't suitable for certain types of physical activity.Using pads greatly reduces a woman's chances of getting TSS.

Tampons: Tampons, which have been around since the 1930s, are the most popular choice of feminine protection for women younger than 41, according to a prominent study. Women often choose tampons for greater physical freedom during their period. Like sanitary pads, tampons are also offered in various sizes and levels of absorbency. It is recommended that women change tampons at least every four to eight hours, using the least absorbent type to manage menstrual flow. Tampons are not recommended in between periods. There is some evidence that women who use tampons may have an increased risk of urinary tract infections.

Menstrual cups: Menstrual cups have been around as long as tampons but currently are not as widely used by women in the United States. There are two types of menstrual cups: The first is a soft, flexible, disposable cup that resembles a diaphragm. The second is a bell-shaped cup made of rubber (latex) or silicone that can be reused after thorough cleaning. Both types of menstrual cups are designed to collect menstrual fluid—rather than absorb it—for disposal later.

Some women prefer menstrual cups because they are a tampon alternative that can be safely worn up to 12 hours. One study found that women had to change the cup, on average, 2.8 times less frequently than when using tampons or pads, and that it leaked 0.5 times less often. Another study found that women who used tampons and had "average-to-heavy" menstrual flows were more likely to use a menstrual cup, as were women over age 40.

Women also say they like menstrual cups because they don't contain any chemicals, bleaches or fibers that could cause sensitivity or allergic reactions. Also, the soft, flexible menstrual cups can be worn during intercourse, making the experience a little less messy for women and their partners.

Abortion is one of the most common medical procedures performed in the United States each year. More than 40% of all women will end a pregnancy by abortion at some time in their reproductive lives. Legal abortion is a safe procedure. Infection rates are less than one percent, and fewer than 1 in 100,000 deaths occurs from first-trimester abortions. Abortion is safer for the mother than carrying a pregnancy to term. Medical and surgical abortions are both safe and effective when performed by trained practitioners. So if this is the choice you wish to make do not be afraid for you're saftey. You will be in good hands.

Abortions performed prior to nine weeks from the last menstrual period (seven weeks from conception) are performed either surgically (a procedure) or medically (with drugs).From nine weeks until 14 weeks, an abortion is performed by a dilatation and suction curettage procedure. After 14 weeks, surgical abortions are performed by a dilatation and evacuation procedure.After 20 weeks of gestation, abortions can be performed by labor induction, prostaglandin labor induction, saline infusion, hysterotomy, or dilatation and extraction.Most abortions are performed in an outpatient office setting (doctor's office, ambulatory clinic) under local anesthesia with or without sedation.

Medical abortion is a term applied to an abortion brought about by medication taken to induce it. This can be accomplished with a variety of medications given either as a single pill or a series of pills. Medical abortion has a success rate that ranges from 75-95%, with about 2-4% of failed abortions requiring surgical abortion and about 5-10% of incomplete abortions (not all tissue is expelled and it must be taken out by surgery), depending on the stage of gestation and the medical products used.

Women who select a medical abortion express a slightly greater satisfaction with their route of abortion and, in the majority of cases, express a wish to choose this method again should they have another abortion.

The process of a medical abortion involves bleeding, often like a heavy menstrual period, which must be differentiated from hemorrhage (a serious problem). Regardless of the amount of tissue passed, the woman must see a doctor for evaluation to make sure the process is complete (and not an incomplete abortion).

After the Procedure

Activity: You may be referred for ongoing counseling and support after an abortion. You may eat a regular dietand resume normal activity. Avoid heavy activity or lifting for a few days. Do not use tampons, douche, or have sexual intercourse for one week.
Medications: You may be given medication for pain, but these are usually not necessary. Your doctor may prescribe medications for painful contractions and cramping of your uterus, but with a first-trimester procedure, none are usually needed. f you have pain, your doctor may suggestacetaminophen (such as Tyleno)l oribuprofen (such as Advil) and similar pain relievers.

What are my rights as a woman?

Know your rights and be persistent. Don’t let anyone pressure or coerce you into anything that is not in your best interest.

You have a right to:
- Have a licensed physician perform your abortion.

- Know if the physician has had his license suspended.

- Confirm that the physician has medical malpractice insurance to protect and compensate you in case of injury or death.

- Be transferred by ambulance to the closest hospital if you are injured during the abortion procedure.

- Refuse to sign a waiver releasing the doctor, abortion clinic and staff from liability for abortion-related injuries.

Consent

Yeast infections

Most vaginal yeast infections are caused by the organism Candida albicans.

Yeast infections are very common and affect up to 75% of women at some point in their lifetime.

The main symptom of a vaginal yeast infection isitching, but burning, discharge, and pain with urination or intercourse can also occur.

Treatment involves topical or oral antifungal medications.

It is possible for a woman to transmit a yeast infection to a male sex partner, even though yeast infection is not considered to be a true sexually-transmitted disease (STD) because it can occur in women who are not sexually active.

Treatment of yeast infection in men, like in women, involves antifungal medications.

Keeping the vaginal area dry and avoiding irritating chemicals can help prevent yeast infections in women. Consuming foods with probiotics also may help.

Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs)

If you're a woman, your chance of getting a urinary tract infection, or UTI, is high; some experts rank your lifetime risk of getting one as high as 1 in 2 -- with many women having repeat infections, sometimes for years on end. Here's how to handle UTIs, whether you're experiencing your first or fifth infection, and how to make it less likely you'll get one in the first place.

What Causes UTIs in Women

UTIs are a key reason we're often told to wipe from front to back after using the bathroom. That's because the urethra -- the tube that transports urine from the bladder to the outside of the body -- is located close to the anus. Bacteria from the large intestine, such as E. coli, are in the perfect position to escape the anus and invade the urethra. From there, they can travel up to the bladder, and if the infection isn't treated, continue on to infect the kidneys. Women may be especially prone to UTIs because they have shorter urethras, which allow bacteria quick access to the bladder. Having sex can introduce bacteria into the urinary tract, too.

To identify a UTI, keep an eye out for the following symptoms:

A burning feeling when you urinate
A frequent or intense urge to urinate, even though little comes out when you do
Pain or pressure in your back or lower abdomen
Cloudy, dark, bloody, or strange-smelling urine
Feeling tired or shaky
Fever or chills (a sign the infection may have reached your kidneys)

Tests and Treatments for UTIs

If you suspect you have a urinary tract infection, head to the doctor. You'll be asked to give a urine sample, which will be tested for the presence of UTI-causing bacteria. The treatment? Antibiotics to kill the intruders. As always, be sure to finish off the prescribed cycle of medicine completely, even after you start to feel better. And drink lots of water to help flush the bacteria from your system. Your doctor may prescribe a medication to soothe the pain, and a heating pad may also be helpful.

Sexual violence is a broad term which includes sexual assault, sexual harassment, street harassment, relationship violence, child sexual abuse and stalking. While each of these types of violence may look different, they all involve an attack on a person’s sense of self, their sexuality, their body and/or their feeling of safety. It can happen to anyone of any gender and of any sexual orientation.

It is important to remember that all forms of sexual violence are interconnected and equally important. All types of sexual violence can have a profound impact on an individual, and they all contribute to a rape-prone world. A misconception about sexual assault is that it happens because a person is really aroused, lonely, or because they can’t get sexual activity any other way. The truth is that sexual assault is not about craving sexual activity.All forms of sexual violence are about getting power and feeling a sense of dominance over someone. For example, in sexual harassment, making someone uncomfortable or afraid with unwanted sexual comments or gestures is the method of gaining power. In sexual assault, perpetrators use forced sexual activity as a way to gain this power.The violence is purposeful and deliberate. It’s the feeling of violating a person’s boundaries, and of not having consent that perpetrators are looking for.This concept is so important to understand because it’s the very root of why sexual assault happens.

Myths about sexual violence:

A common belief is that if a woman is wearing provocative clothing, then she is at least partly responsible if she is sexually assaulted. Perhaps women should know better than to wear revealing clothing in public. Or women are secretly welcoming any and all sexual activity if they wear revealing clothing. Or perpetrators shouldn’t be expected to control themselves when faced with a woman in provocative clothing.

When we sit down and think of all the things we hear about sexual violence, we can see just how many harmful beliefs exist. If you walk home alone, you’re asking for sexual assault. Men can’t be sexually assaulted. Sexual assault is just part of the job description for sex workers. People lie about getting sexually assaulted.

It’s a vicious cycle: when we believe myths, we blame survivors for what someone else has done to them. When we blame survivors, we aren’t holding perpetrators accountable. And when we don’t hold perpetrators accountable, we reinforce a status quo.

A person doesn’t need to scream or run away to make it apparent that they are not consenting. When we focus on the person instead of the situation, regardless of the way they communicate no, the difference between consent and non-consent is very obvious.

Alcohol and Sexual Assault:

There is an incredibly prevalent idea in our society that revolves around alcohol and sexual assault. This idea is that if you drink, you’re putting yourself at risk of sexual assault. Our culture’s obsession with alcohol and sexual assault is a perfect example of our rape-prone culture.

There is judgement against anyone who drinks in general, since drinking is seen as “risky behaviour” that can invite sexual violence. Because of the advice around having your friends watch out for you and your drink, there is reinforcement of the idea that only strangers commit sexual assault. There is acceptance that sexual assault is “to be expected” in situations where there is alcohol.

These beliefs are problematic for so many reasons: for taking accountability away from the perpetrator, for blaming the person who has experienced the sexual assault, for limiting the behaviour of everyone in society who chooses to drink, and for distorting the realities of sexual assault. Instead of telling people not to drink because it will put them at risk for sexual assault, we need to tell perpetrators not to commit sexual assault.

What to do if you've been assaulted:

It’s hard to know what to do, how to feel, or what your options are after a sexual assault. Please know that you’re not alone. Below are some things to keep in mind. If you are in immediate danger or seriously injured, call 911.

Your safety is important. Are you in a safe place? If you’re not feeling safe, consider reaching out to someone you trust for support. You don’t have to go through this alone.
What happened was not your fault. Something happened to you that you didn’t want to happen—and that’s not OK.
If you have been raped, there are certain steps you must do immediately to inccrease the chances that your attacker will be put away.
Do not bathe, wash or despose of the clothes you were wearing during the attack-your body and clothes can provide important evidence for catching and prosecuting the rapist.
You need to tell someone- the police, a doctor, teacher, friend or a school or clinic counselor. It is important to know there are rape crisis centers in every city, at most hospitals, and on most college campuses. National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673).
As soon as possible, get yourself to a hospital or clinic. There you will receive the standard care and support you need. You will also be given a rape kit, emergency contraception nd antibiotics that help fight some STIs.

If you call the hotline you’ll be connected to a trained staff member from a local sexual assault service provider in your area. They will direct you to the appropriate local health facility that can care for survivors of sexual assault. Some service providers may be able to send a trained advocate to accompany you.

When you call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, a staff member will walk you through the process of getting help at your own pace.

The decision to report to law enforcement is entirely yours. Some survivors say that reporting and seeking justice helped them recover and regain a sense of control over their lives. Understanding how to report and learning more about the experience can take away some of the unknowns and help you feel more prepared.

How do I report sexual assault?
You have several options for reporting sexual assault:

Call 911. If you are in immediate danger, dial 911. Help will come to you, wherever you are.
Contact local the local police department. Call the direct line of your local police station or visit the station in person. If you are on a college campus you may also be able to contact campus-based law enforcement.
Visit a medical center. If you are being treated for injuries resulting from sexual assault, tell a medical professional that you wish to report the crime. You can also choose to have a sexual assault forensic exam. To find an appropriate local health facility that is prepared to care for survivors.

Who will I be talking to?
In most areas, there are specific law enforcement officers who are trained to interact with survivors of sexual assault. In addition, many law enforcement agencies participate in Sexual Assault Response Teams (SARTs), which provide a survivor-centered, coordinated response to sexual assault. SARTs incorporate medical personnel, law enforcement, and sexual assault service providers in your area. They work together to organize the investigation, reduce repetition of questions and interviews, and facilitate communication among all agencies involved..

Is there a time limit on reporting to the police?
In short, yes. This window of time you can report a crime is called the statute of limitations. Statutes of limitation vary by state, type of crime, age of the victim, and various other factors.

What are some common concerns about reporting?
If you have questions or concerns about reporting, you’re not alone. The list below may have answers to some common questions that are on your mind.

The perpetrator got scared away or stopped before finishing the assault.
Attempted rape is a serious crime and can be reported. Reports of attempted rape and other assault are taken seriously.
I know the person who hurt me.
About 2/3 of victims know the perpetrator. It can be unnerving to be violated by someone you know. Regardless of who perpetrator is, sexual assault is against the law.
I’ve been intimate with the perpetrator in the past, or am currently in a relationship with the perpetrator.
Sexual assault can occur within a relationship. Giving someone consent in the past does not give them consent for any act in the future. If you did not consent, they acted against the law—and you can report it.
I have no physical injuries, and I’m worried there’s not enough proof.
Most sexual assaults do not result in external physical injuries. It's important to receive medical attention to check for internal injuries. You can also choose to have a sexual assault forensic exam to check for DNA evidence that may not be visible on the surface.
I’m worried law enforcement won’t believe me.
There has been great investment in police training on this topic. While there are occasional exceptions, most law enforcement officers are understanding and on your side. If you do encounter someone who isn't taking your case seriously, ask for their supervisor and let your local sexual assault service provider know.
I don’t want to get in trouble.
Sometimes minors are afraid of being disciplined, either by the law or by their parents, because they were doing something they shouldn’t have when the abuse occurred. For example, a teen might have been consuming alcohol, or a child might have been breaking a house rule. It’s important to remember that sexual assault is a crime—no matter the circumstances. Nothing you did caused this to happen.

Do I have to report to get rape kit?
By law, you are not required to report to law enforcement in order to receive a sexual assault forensic exam, commonly referred to as a “rape kit.”

Does it matter whether or not I know the perpetrator? Can I still have an exam?
There is value in having a sexual assault forensic exam performed, regardless of whether or not you know the identity of the perpetrator or perpetrators. DNA evidence collected during the exam can play an important role in the case against the perpetrator.

Will I have to pay for the exam?
By law, you should not be billed for the direct costs of a sexual assault forensic exam. The way states handle this law can vary. Since 2009, states have been required to provide sexual assault forensic exams for free or via reimbursement, regardless of cooperation with law enforcement. Starting in 2015, health facilities will no longer be able to charge for exams up front and ask for victims to file reimbursement through their insurance later. If you have questions about a bill your received related to your exam or about any other aspects of the process, you can contact your local sexual assault service provider or state coalition.

The date dape drug

The "date rape drug" is a powerful setative, 10 times more powerful than valium, it is called Rohyponal, or "roofie," for short. It is illegal in this country but legal in Europe and Latin America, so many people can still get ahold of it. Rapists have been known to slip these into victims drinks. People who are given the drug feel paralyzed, experience blurred vision, get the spins, and may black out or enter a dreamlike state where their memory is seriously impaired. Be aware of not leaving your drink unattended at bars or parties and be careful about taking drinks from men you don't necessarily know or feel safe with. Some other drugs that have similar symptoms and are easilly slipped into drinks are gama-hydroxyy butarate (GHB), and Ketamine— these like Rohyponal are colorless and odorless, making them very difficult to detect. Sadly, evidence suggests that most rapes aren’t a result of date-rape drugs—that alcohol itself is the date-rape drug of choice. Either way, any sort of sexual assault is never acceptable, regardless of how intoxicated either party may be.

Here are a few warning signs to look out for:

You feel unusually drowsy.
Your vision gets blurry.
You feel nauseated and sick.
Your heart begins to race.
You feel extremely thirsty.
You feel like you’re in a dream state.
You feel like you’re outside your own body.
Your mood suddenly changes (for example, you become very depressed, angry or aggressive).
You lose your coordination.
You feel numb.

Many of the symptoms of ingesting a spiked drink are similar to the effects of alcohol intoxication. To reduce your risk of a crime, an adverse reaction or an overdose, use the buddy system. Whenever you go to a place where alcohol will be consumed, have a designated driver or a sober friend keep an eye on your drinking patterns and monitor your whereabouts throughout the night. Never go to a new club or a party without letting someone know where you’ll be.

What to Do if You’ve Been Drugged

If you think you’ve ingested all or part of a spiked drink, make it known to others immediately. Call 911 or get a friend to take you to the emergency room as soon as possible. Never let a stranger take you from a party or club to get help; if you can’t leave with someone you know and trust, wait for emergency medical personnel. While you’re waiting for help, don’t accept any more beverages, even water.

Even if you haven’t had any alcohol and you don’t feel any unusual side effects, do not try to drive yourself to a safe place. You may not feel the full effects of a drug until you’re already behind the wheel.

Saftey tips

Order Your Own Drinks

Avoid Open Containers

Cover Your Cup

Notice Unusual Flavors If your drink tastes, smells, or looks strange, do not consume it. GHB in particular can haves a strong, salty flavor.

Orgasms

Living with an STI

Every woman must learn to embrace her sexual reality. If you are living with a chronic STI, it doesn't have to mean that your sex life is over. It just means that you have to educate yourself on your particular diagnosis, treat your condition, focus on your health, and re-create your sex life with some new considerations. It is important to be really open and honest with you're partner about your diagnosis. Remember having an STI does not mean you are a bad or dirty person, you do not need to confess to you're partner. The STI does not indicate anything about your sex life or the kind of person you are. When you are open and honest from the beginning it may feel very scary but it can help avoid feelings of betrayal later on. Being honest allows your partner to make an informed decision based on facts, not fear or misconceptions about your condition. If you want to ease into the dating scene and are nervous about this talk, you might consider checking out an online dating site for people with STIs as a starting place for reestablishing yourself in the dating world. Always keep in mind that YOU are not you're diagnosis if somebody wants to be with you they will love EVERY piece of you. You are of infinate worth and you deserve to be loved.

Some facts about STIs:

If you have HIV, under criminal law you could be charged for not telling your partner before having vaginal, anal or oral sex, or other activities that could expose them to HIV.

If your partner has told you that they have an STI, you may have a lot of questions about what this means for you. Some things you can do for yourself and your partner are:

Get the facts about the STI, how it is passed and prevented; you can explore ways to practice safer sex while lowering the chances of getting the STI
Get tested and treated, if needed; treatment options will depend on the type of STI your partner has.
Ask for more time if you are not sure what to think; it can take time to get the information you need and to figure out how you feel

How do I tell my parents?

Sometimes parents are shocked or angry, and sometimes they're understanding. There is really no way to know how your parents will feel unless you talk with them about it. It might help to find a time when no one is distracted – ask them when a good time to talk is.

Most people worry their parents will freak out, but that’s not always what happens. If you can, try to be open, honest, and remind your parents that you trust them and need their help. Your parents might also respond openly and honestly, without getting mad. If your parents do get upset, they may just need some time to calm down.

Even though it probably feels scary, talking with your parents can really help. They can go over your options with you, and make sure you get proper medical care. In some states in order to recieve an abortion you must have a parent or guardian sign or be notified of your pregnancy.

Some women choose to let another family raise their baby. Many women who choose this option feel happy knowing that their child will live in a good, loving home. But others find that the loss and sadness is deeper and longer lasting than they expected.

Adoption laws are different in every state, so if you choose this option it’s a good idea to do some research and talk with someone at an adoption agency. And find out what rights a birth father has in your state – the law may say that he needs to agree to the adoption, too.

Today, women have more control over their adoptions than ever before by choosing nearly every aspect of the adoption.

If you decide to move forward with an adoption, you will ask yourself:

What kind of adoptive family do I want for my child? A big family? A small family? A family that lives in the city, or a family that lives in the country? A religious family or a non-religious family? A family of doctors? Teachers? A stay-at-home mom?
What kind of contact do I want with the adoptive family before the birth of my baby?Phone calls? Emails? Visits?
What kind of contact do I want with my child and the adoptive family after the adoption?Pictures and letters? Phone calls? Visits?
How do I envision the birth of my baby? Is the adoptive family there? Are members of my family there? How much interaction do I want with my baby?

Adoption can also be completely confidential, where her family, friends and community won’t know about it. Of course, hiding a pregnancy can be difficult, but adoption agencies can help you by purchasing baggy clothing or providing a temporary out-of-town living situation. There is always a solution of keeping one’s pregnancy and adoption private.

Build a Support System to Help with Your Pregnancy and Adoption

A good friend who listens to you and truly tries to understand what you are going through can be an essential component to a healthy teenage pregnancy.

What does this person look like? He or she will…

Be available when you need a favor or someone to talk to.
Not tempt you into making a bad choice.
Make you feel good about yourself and your situation.

The more people you know who exude these qualities, the better. They can be friends, parents, grandparents, siblings, fellow students, school counselors, teachers, pastors or anyone else who brings positivity to your life and your pregnancy.

“I saw them making out, she was obviously okay with it then.”
“She was sure dressed like she wanted it.”
“What did he expect when he went upstairs with her?”

Statements like these make it seem like there could be confusion about whether or not the person was consenting. That’s because these statements suggest that consent can be determined from the situation.

The situation or environment doesn’t speak for you – only you can give consent.

Parenthood means that you are choosing to carry out youpregnancy to term and to raise your child. It is important that you fully consider all of your options when making this decision. Becoming a parent means that you are financially, legally, physically, and emotionally responsible for the upbringing of your child until adulthood.

When you decide to become a parent you are choosing to embark on an experience that many find enriching and life-affirming but also difficult in many ways. To ensure the health of your baby, it is important to understand your own body and pregnancy. You can increase the chances of having a healthy baby by staying healthy and taking care of yourself.

The decision to remain healthy during your pregnancy may include certain lifestyle changes, including modifying your diet and nutrition, and abstaining from alcohol and drugs.

Your first step is to make an appointment with a clinician for prenatal care. You will also need to determine if you want to deliver your baby in a hospital, at home, or at a birthing center.

You may need to think about how you will accommodate potentially increased needs for:

changes in lifestyle
- Will you be able to obtain childcare if necessary?
- Do you want to continue your education? How will you accomplish this?
- How much time do you want to spend with your child? Is this possible?
- What do you do for recreation? Can you continue to do some of these things after the child is born? What if you cannot?
- Will your decision to be a parent come closest to giving you what you want in your life?
medical support
- Are you taking prenatal vitamins and having regular exams with an obstetrician?
- Do you have a doctor and hospital lined up for delivery?
- Have you chosen a pediatrician?
- What will you do if there is a problem with the pregnancy?

financial support
- How will you pay bills for prenatal care, delivery, and a pediatrician?
- How will you provide health insurance for you and your child? (You may be eligible for government assistance.)
- How will you pay for rent, utilities, transportation, food, clothing, laundry?
- Will you need to take a different or second job?
- How will you obtain (buy or borrow) a crib, baby clothes, maternity clothes, blankets, a car seat?
- What will it cost to hire a babysitter, if you need one?
emotional support
- Do you have a person (possibly your partner) who is going to make you a priority during your pregnancy?
- Do you have a person who is going to be available for your delivery and the weeks afterward?
- If you are in conflict with anyone over this pregnancy, are you willing to live with that conflict?
- Are your family and/or friends supportive of your decision? What do you expect from them, and what do they expect from you? Are these expectations realistic?

Sexual Preference

Sexual preference is typically understood as meaning which gender you have sex with, prefer to have sex with, or fantasize about having sex with... Sexual preference is not simply a question of being gay or straight. Sexuality is actually a continuum and many people fall somewhere in between the two extremes. People move around on this continuum throughout their lives. Sexuality is always evolving, it is truly a beautiful thing.

Questioning Sexuality

As women develope sexual feelings and begin to think and explore the world of sex, it is natural to think about what turns them on and look at who they are feeling attracted to. Many women begin to notice an intrest in or a strong attraction to other women, this can bring up a lot of questions for them about what this means about them and their sexuality.

Why do women like other women?

There is no one reason girls are attracted to other girls. For some people, the question is cause for debate. For others, who believe that we are attracted to individual people and not their gender that question is beside the point. Whoever you choose to love is beautiful and nothing to EVER be ashamed of. Love is love however it looks.

How do two girls have sex?

Two girls or women can engage in any sexual activity that doesnt involve a penis. You can also use sex toys or strap on penisis to penetrate you're partner.

How to have safe sex

When girls have sex with girls, they do not need to worry about birth control- but they do need to worry about STIs. STIs and HIV can be transmitted through vaginal fluids.

Labels and discrimination

Gay. Bi. Straight. Lesbian. Queer. Bi curious. Bi questioning. Somewhere in between all these things.

How we feel about our sexuality can and probably will change through our lives. Lables can seem like oppressive stereotypes or they can be a source of pride and comfort. There is a lot of pressure to define yourself and you're sexuality. Our world seems to have a hard time understanding ambiguity.

Whether you're happy and proud to call yourself one thing or another, you're not wanting to lable yourself right now, or you're just anti lable by nature, it is ALL up to you! In the end, your sexuality is your own work in progress, and you should be the person who has to feel comfortable with yourself.

Coming out

As you begin to understand your sexuality better, or become more comfortable with it, you may begin to feel like you want or need to share this with other people. It can feel risky and scary because you may not know how people are going to react. And you may run into some homophobia along the way, be it from family, friends or just people in you're community. The people who are the closest to you can be the hardest to tell because if they have bad reactions, it can feel really devastating. Just remember you are who you are and nobody can take that away from you. Whether you receive good or bad reactions they do not define how or who you should love.

Helpful Terminology

Ally: An "ally" is an individual who is supportive of the LGBTQ community.
Gender: An individual's socially constructed identity as man or woman.
LGBTQ: "LGBTQ" is an acronym that originated in the 1990s and replaced what was formerly known as "the gay community." The acronymn was created to be more inclusive of diverse groups. LGBTQ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (and/or questioning) individuals/identities.
- Lesbian: An individual who identifies as a woman and who is predominantly sexually and romantically attracted to other women.
- Gay: An individual who identifies as a man and who is predominantly sexually and romantically attracted to other men.
- Bisexual: An individual who is sexually and romantically attracted to men and women.
- Transgender: An individual who identifies as the opposite sex from the sexual genitalia that he/she was born with.
- Queer: An individual who does not identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender but feels more comfortable identifying as "queer," which is commonly thought of as a term that is fluid and inclusive of diverse sexual orientations and/or gender identities.
- Questioning: An individual who is unsure about his/her sexual orientation and/or gender identity and prefers to identify as "questioning" rather than adhering to a label that does not designate how he/she feels.
Sex: Designation of male/female based on biological characteristics.
Sexual Orientation: A label used to designate an individual's desire for intimate, emotional and/or sexual relationships with people of the same gender/sex, another gender/sex, or multiple genders/sexes.
Sexuality: A person’s exploration of sexual acts, sexual orientation, sexual pleasure, and desire.

Is it ever safe not to use protection?

It can be,

If you are in a MONOGAMOUS relationship

Both partners have been tested for STIs

(unless you are both virgins)

Continued to use condoms for 6 months after being tested

Were tested for HIV with negative results,

Then not using protection can be LOW risk.

Slippage and breakage

Condoms can slip or break during sex. If this happens, stop and put on a new condom. If you realize this has happened AFTER sex, and you think you are at a fertile point in your cycle and are afraid you may be pregnant use emergency contraception. If you are afraid you may have been exposed to STIs tell your doctor or go to a clinic and get a test.

Emergency Contraception

If there is an accident with your birth control, or you were forced or had unprotected sex, and you are 100% sure you do not wish to get pregnant, you can get a form of emergency contraception called the morning-after pill or Plan B. This pill must be taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex. The sooner you take it the better it will work. You can get this pill from either a doctor or clinic. These pills send a dose of hormones into your body that cause changes in your uterine lining, making it imhospitable for a fertilized egg. Taking emergency contraception reduces your chances of pregnancy by 75%. If an egg has already been fertilized it does not act as an abortion pill it is simply a preventative method. Repeated doses is not recommended, and doctors will not allow it.

Virginity

When an individual is trying to decide whether to have sexual intercourse for the first time, there are several factors to consider. The issue of whether or not you should "lose your virginity" can be a huge moment, it can be an aspect of a larger view of your sexuality, depending on your ideas and beliefs. Virginity has many cultural and social implications, but in reality it means something different and personal to different women and situations. It is important to think about what "losing your virginity" means you and think about what you want for yourself. Knowing these things can help you be clear with your partner about what you want and need. Nobody can tell you whether or not you are ready to have sex. You are the only person who knows if you can handle the responsibility. If you are uncertin about whether you want to or not, pay attention to your fears and concerns. You do not owe sex to anybody and you do not need to have sex until you are ready. When you do have sex make sure you are doing it safely.

Many teenage girls say they started having sex involuntarily or with great reluctance, and only after succumbing to pressure from their partners . In a study, 60 percent of women who had sex before they were 15 said they didn'y really want to. The reason women cite for having sex when they don't want to include not knowing how to say "no," being under the influence of drugs or alcohol, not wanting to hurt someone's feelings, and peer pressure. The longer girls wait to have sex the more likely they are to feel in control and embrace their first sexual experience as positive.

The pain factor

There may be some discomfort the first time you have sexual intercourse. Much of it depends on how stretched your hymen is. Also, if you are tense and anxious, the vagina, may be both drier and tighter. As a woman becomes more aroused and relaxed, her vaginal entrance will become looser and more lubricated, which can make the experience less painful. The more you trust and feel comfortable with your partner, the more relaxed you'll be. You may want to trya lubricant such as K-Y Jelly or Aqualube or use a lubricated condom to lesson the pain. Some women bleed their first time, some women do not.

The hymen:

People sometimes believe that orgasms only involve sexual organs but some orgasms can be completely physiological. When you orgasm it involves both body and mind! Orgasms feel and look differently for people and there is no one right or wrong way to expierience an orgasm. For many women to reach orgasm they must be relaxed, comfterable, safe and able to lose control. Sexual responsiveness differs from woman to woman. Some women dont start having orgasms until their twenties and thirties, some women have orgasms as babies and children. Orgasm is a truly beautiful and mind blowing expierience, but sometimes there is too much emphasis placed on them... If trying to reach orgasm becomes the end-all be-all, it can spoil the expierience of sex. There should be no pressure to have an orgasm for EITHER partner- sex can be totally magical without it. Not having an orgasm does NOT mean you or your partner has failed.

The Clitoris: For some women the primary pleasure center is the clitoris, which is located a good inch or so away from your vaginal opening, it has a hood and is located at the top of your vulva! Orgasms are sometimes attained by stimulating the clit. The methods and preferences women have for clitoral stimulation varies. Some women like direct contact: others find this method too intense. Pressure on the mons area, which moves the clitoris againts the pubic bone, feels good to some women, but not all. The act of inserting a penis or toy inside a vagina, and moving it in and out-doesnt typically pay much attention to the clitoris. Only a small percent of women experience orgasm through insertion of something into her vagina alone. Stimulation of the clitoral area by women or her partner during insertion can however lead to orgasm. Orgasm can also be reached through oral or manual stimulatio. To some people these activities are considered foreplay, but when they lead to orgasm they can be considered the main event.

Anorgasmia

Definition: Anorgasmia is an inability to reach orgasm and is thought to occur in about 10% of women. Anorgasmia may be either primary (the woman has never been able to reach an orgasm by any means) or secondary (an orgasm was experienced at some point in the past). It may also be global (orgasm is not experienced by any means) or situational (orgasm may be experienced in certain sexual situations but not others; for example, with manual stimulation but not with intercourse).

Myths about orgasms:

There are several myths about the female orgasm. These myths can sometimes cause issues for women and their partners.

"Healthy" and "normal" women only reach orgasm through intercourse:

Only a small amount of women reach orgasm through intercourse. A larger amount of women can reach orgasm while having intercourse but need extra stimulation. A third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can by manual and oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation of female sexuality. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity. It also has NOTHING to do with her normality or sexual history.

If a woman cannot reach orgasm, then her partner is not a skillful lover:

While there are many ways a loving partner can help a woman reach orgasm, in the end, a woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. That does not mean her partner should not be involved. Communication between partners is very important. It is up to the woman to inform her partner her likes and dislikes while having sex.

A woman has to have an orgasm in order to enjoy sex:

Many women enjoy the closeness and physical intimacy of sex and are satisfied even if they do not, or do not always, have an orgasm.

Multiple Orgasms:

Generally after an orgasm the body is satisfied, it will typically enter what is called the resolution phase, this is where your body returns to its prearoused state. Typically womens bodies need to rest or are far too sensitive for any further stimulation, this is the same for males. Some women are able to maintain a high level of arousal even after reaching orgasm. These women can be quickly aroused and reach climax again (possibly over and over). Women who have multipal orgasms say there is a "pyramid effect" meaning each orgasm builds with intensity from the last one. However many orgasms you have it is all normal and all awesome!

Faking Orgasms:

Some women fake orgasms, the reasons this happens can vary but it is often because a woman is too tired and maybe not enjoying it or she is afraid of hurting her partners feelings; she may want her partner to believe she is being satisfied.

Why you should not fake an orgasm:

It is completely counterproductive! How can a partner ever learn what you like if you pretend you like something that isn't really workin for you. Communicate if something doesn't feel good or you think something might feel better share that with your partner and show them what YOU like.

Communication and Boundries

Communicating your boundries: Before you can begin to communicate your boundries, you've got to figure out what they are and what you're comfterable with. If you are not comfterable with something that is happening between you and somebody else, you have the absolute right to stop at any point and for any reason. You are allowed to determine what your needs, wants and limits are. These limits MUST be respected by your partner- even if they make you feel guilty for changing your mind about doing something. You're basic human right is to be listened to and respected and if that is not happening you have the right to take care of yourself and leave the situation. You have no responsibility to "finish what you started" or take things any further than you wanted to. Some boys or men may complain of "blue balls"- extreamly aroused testicles can ache if they do not release tension through an orgasm. But is it not your problem and it is not the end of the world. Just because you have aroused somebody does not mean you owe them ANYTHING. ever. Respect goes both ways. Remember you're partner has boundries and needs too. Pushing a sexual encounter is never okay and you must both be comfterable, always.

Needs: There is literally no formula for sex. Everyone likes different things, good communication is criticle for healthy sexual encounters. One of the hardest things is communicating to your partner what you like and don't. You can expresses these things by either telling or showing. It can feel awkward to say things like "that doesn't feel good," or keep doing that," or "A little higher... softer... harder." It is really important to express these things to your partner, if you don't tell them what you need how can they make you feel good?

Never feel pressured to have sex, because sex is NOT an obligation.

Sexual healing meditation

Transfoming the Female Wounded Warrior to the Divine Goddess

Moon goddess love healing

Relax

Sexual identities: The type of sexual, romantic, and/or physical attraction someone feels toward others. Often labeled based on the gender identity/expression of the person and who they are attracted to. Common labels: lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, etc. Transgender: This term has many definitions.

Sex is what is between our legs, gender is who you are.

And whoever that person is they are totally perfect and beyond beautiful.

Age of Consent

The ages of consent in North America for sexual activity vary by jurisdiction.

The age of consent in Canada is 16. All U.S. states set their limits between 16 and 18.

In colorado, a person who is under 15 can legally consent to have sex with someone who is no more than 4 years older. Additionally, a person under 17 can legally consent to sex with a person who is no more than 10 years older.

Gender Pronouns

What are pronouns and personal pronouns?

A pronoun is a word that refers to either the people talking (like I or you) or someone or something that is being talked about (like she, it, them, and this). Gender pronouns (like he and hers) specifically refer to people that you are talking about.

Personal pronouns:

A “personal gender pronoun” (or PGP) is the pronoun that a person uses for themself.

How can I ask what pronouns somebody uses?

Try asking: “What pronouns do you use?” or “Can you remind me what pronouns you use?” It can feel awkward at first, but it is not half as awkward as getting it wrong or making a hurtful assumption.

What if I make a mistake?

It’s okay! Everyone slips up from time to time. The best thing to do if you use the wrong pronoun for someone is to say something right away, like “Sorry, I meant she.” If you realize your mistake after the fact, apologize in private and move on.

Pronouns people use: He, she, them, they, zi, zir